no more grey skies...

For years I've hated the oh-so-often grey skies in Ohio. Even in the summer, there is rarely BLUE sky, but rather brightly lit hazy grey/white sky with blue peeping through here and there.

In the weeks after James died, God gave me a wonderful gift. Each day was warm and sunny and they sky was BLUE. So many days, I took Jakob and Anna out--to the park, to a playground, on an outing. Anything, so I could sit on a bench, soak up the sun, and enjoy the bright day. I felt God a little closer at those times.

In weeks and months that followed, I could cope okay if it was at least bright outside. But those dreaded grey days that I've disliked for years became a heavy weight. My grief and pain over the loss of James was so hard to carry. Add the grey...and it became unbearable. All I wanted to do on those days was sit on the couch, curl up in a blanket, and stare out the window at the trees silhouetted against dismal skies. Days like that seemed to fill the house, and the world around, and even my heart, with grey fog...

Then, in December, we fled Ohio and made it to Denver for the holidays. The sky, oh, LOOK at the sky! It's BLUE, clear blue, with few clouds and a bright SUN! Some days the mountains fade behind mist and clouds...but here on the high plains it stays clear.

Even Anna notices. The other day was slightly hazy. (You know, like a GOOD day in Ohio?!) She commented with disdain that it was just like Ohio---a dark, grey day.

For now, while we are still missing James so deeply...BLUE has become a good color, a life giving color. I think we will stay awhile here where the sky brings hope!